Gaslighting, Ghosts, and Growth:
Why My Circle Got Smaller (And Yours Should Too)
Gaslighting isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a survival tactic for people who fear accountability. And lately, I’ve been blocking them faster than my Wi-Fi loads a Netflix show.
The Unfollow Revolution
Over the past few weeks, my “block” button has worked overtime. Unfollow. Unfriend. Unsubscribe. Mute. Take a 30 day break! Each click feels like shedding a weighted cloak I didn’t realize I was carrying.
Integrity feels like a rare gem these days. Authenticity? Even rarer. I’ve started disengaging from people who treat decency like an optional accessory—and the relief is visceral. Ever cut ties with someone who left you thinking, “Why did I ignore that gut feeling?” You’re not alone.
Gaslighters are masters of the slow burn. They slip into your life wearing a mask of “love” or “concern,” only to leave you questioning your sanity. Sound familiar?
How I Learned to Spot the Smoke (Before the Fire)
Growing up, gaslighting was my family’s love language. My parents, relatives—even past partners—perfected the art of twisting reality to serve their needs. For years, I mistook their manipulation for care. Therapy unearthed a hard truth: I’d been conditioned to confuse self-serving agendas with love.
The fallout? I attracted carbon copies of my family’s dysfunction—people who’d weaponize “kindness” to keep me small. It took years to see the pattern: Gaslighters aren’t just toxic—they’re often trapped in their own unhealed trauma, projecting hurt like a broken sprinkler.
Gaslighting 101: The Red Flags I Wish I’d Seen Sooner
1. The “Off” Feeling: That nagging sense something’s wrong? Trust it. Gaslighters thrive when you doubt your intuition.
2. Love-Bombing to Blame-Shifting: They’ll idolize you, then flip the script. “You’re too sensitive” is their anthem.
3. Reality Remix: They’ll rewrite history so smoothly, you’ll check your own memories.
The kicker? Gaslighters are often self-gaslighting too—lying to themselves to avoid facing their brokenness. Hurt people hurt people. But that doesn’t mean you need to stick around for the encore.
Why a Smaller Circle = A Bigger Peace
Healing taught me this: Boundaries aren’t cruelty—they’re self-respect. Here’s what I’ve learned:
🔑 Your “No” is a Forcefield
Gaslighters feed on desperation. The less you need their validation, the faster they’ll ghost.
🔑 You Can Pity Them and Protect Yourself
Acknowledge their pain—from a distance. You’re not their therapist or emotional landfill.
🔑 Quality > Quantity
A tiny circle of authentic souls beats a crowded room of wolves in “friend” costumes.
🔑 Numbing is a Slippery Slope
Making exceptions for one gaslighter? Soon, your life becomes a Netflix thriller you didn’t consent to star in.
Final Thought: Healing is a Superpower
Gaslighters lose power when you stop reacting. Healing isn’t about “fixing” them—it’s about reclaiming your power and reality.
“But what if it’s me?” I used to ask my therapist. Her reply: “What if you’re making excuses for their behavior?”
P.S. If this resonated, join me for Sunday’s meditation session (🔗 in bio). We’ll focus on grounding techniques to strengthen your intuition—because gaslighters hate a clear-headed target. Reclaim Your Power!
P.P.S. To the gaslighters I’ve ghosted: Thanks for the clarity. My peace is not negotiable.
Join me for a free global meditation to ground your energy and protect your peace:
🗓 Sunday, February 23, 2025
⏰ 5:00 AM or 6:00 PM EST (International time zones accommodated)
🔗 Sign up by Friday to secure your Google Meet link + a short preparation guide (think comfy clothes, water, and an open heart).
Spaces are limited—claim yours here.
With love,
Shane 🦋